you know, i'm sick and tired of this madness that i'm in
hating the fact that i just can't seem to get out of this spin
pushing and shoving to get out the damn door
all i can see is that which was before
i know i shouldn't be falling in to this same shit
but i can't help it if my mind won't run away from this lame bit

siigh.

what the affliction is, i really don't know
if i did, yathink i'd be spewing off these words at you
heck no, none of this here is for the sake of a show
its me tryna get these thoughts out like refuse
i know it aint healthy to store up thoughts like these
and thats why i'm trying so hard to give myself a reprieve

damn.

you won't believe how much madness and sadness i've had to encompass
i'm sure you wouldnt understand even if i tried and told you
i'm scared like no other. angry like no other.
i really just wish that i knew how to fake this
but i cant. i don't. i just won't be another fake fool
because i'm tryna fly solo, even it means going w/out the brothers

yaknow.

and so. like i said. here i sit. by myself. all over again
you don't even know the beginning of what going through my mind
if only you knew. if only you tried. you might have been able
to break open and pry. but you din't. you don't. and you just
never won't. because the path aint there and neither is the desire
to truly see what beneath this mind you'll finally uncover.

08.19.10, 12.50-1am