This is nothing new. I’ve been down this road before. I can see clearly where my last footsteps once were, where the imprint from the soles of my shoes forever scarred the surface of the planet. Where brushes and trees and shrubs have been pushed and shoved and molded into a new shape to allow for my safe and comfortable passage. I’ve taken ownership over this road, having slipped away quietly to embark on my own adventure, answering to no one for my whereabouts, and deciding to keep this little exploit all to myself. Such reasons and motives behind my actions I have none to give. But the complications that may come to fruition as a result of my decisions I accept fully the consequences, should they find fault in my favor.

I’ve stepped off the tried and true. I’ve run away from that which was paved, that which has been trampled over and over countless times beforehand. I desire not to walk aimlessly in the mundane and pedestrian ways of millions who have come before me. Beauty, as is said, is held in the eye of the beholder, not in the eye of the shaper. It gives me no joy, no feeling of euphoria to foolishly accept the established ways merely because they may count age as the sole basis of their wisdom. In that sense, I ask myself, am I being foolishly wise about my direction, owing to the fact that I blindly jump into a tangent that which has never been charted before? Or am I wisely foolish, bold enough to jump off the bandwagon of mindless thought, only to get caught in a thorn bush that so conveniently placed itself right upon my point of departure?

It would be prudent of me to beseech a friend, an advisor, a counselor to aid with some guidance in the direction that I am headed. It would have been a blessed gift of foresight had I decided to make preparations before journeying off into the unknown that I have traversed before, only to come full circle back to the beginning, where I stand today, asking myself to check if I have complete confidence in the decisions I’ve made. If I had only enlisted a fellow friend to double check and give wise counsel to me before I brashly ran off in search of my own adventure, trusting not in the established routes but openly running after gut instinct and a wanting heart. There is no going back now.

As I continue with each step, getting further and further away from the roots of civilization, where time has proven again and again the truths and falsities of a bored containment, I look around me, wondering what exactly has changed since my last sojourn upon this part of the woods. I question the progress I have made since my last approach in this area that which is privy only to me. When exactly was the last time I went on this path? If I had been here before, why do I not recall anything from that last expedition, of which I could most likely use the knowledge to aid in my efforts to conquer and tame this unknown beast. At the end of the day, what have I gained from taking this step, and every subsequent one that followed after it?

What naturally follows that is then, where can I acquire the insight to answer said question?
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09.09.09, 11.50pm-12.05am