so I’m sitting here, alone in my room
thinking to myself, why am I blue?
it’s so late at night, and I should be in bed
but here I am at the comp, thinking instead.
thinking about whats transpired over the week
thinking about that which I seek
if you asked me, if you wanted to know
if I could quantify it, just for show.
then I’d say to you, unfortunately, no
even I, myself, can’t get it to flow

so here I am, alone in the darkness
pondering, questioning, the reason for my sadness
as I step back and observe my tiny little history
I keep stumbling back upon this one little mystery
of how and why I fell into this trap
of how and why I’ve taken so much crap
my naive young desires, my foolish childish ways
most definitely, indeed, have led me astray
but even then, even then, I ask to myself
why wasn’t I able to find any help?

so rooted in my seat, seated on my chair
I continue to ask myself, was it ever fair?
that I so freely gave all that I had
my time, energy, and efforts; everything by your demand
but as for me, I was fed only half truths
but as for me, you never ever offered me a clue
to the fact that you were leading me on
such a wild goose chase that continued till dawn
but now that it’s time for the sun to come up
there’s light enough to see that I’m free from your cup

05.24.09, 1.31-1.52am